25 Things I’d Like My Sons to Know

Taken from: The Good Men Project
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/25-things-id-like-my-sons-to-know

1. It’s harder to take a punch than to throw one.

2. Find the people who make you laugh and follow them around like a golden retriever. Laughing is like a vitamin. You can never get enough of it.

3. A guy who hugs a lot is comfortable in his own skin.

4. Read poetry.

5. There’s nothing wrong with looking at porn, but having sex with someone you care about is a thousand times more fun.

6. When you feel like crying, for joy or out of pain, let ‘er rip. If you don’t those tears out, they will calcify in your chest and make it harder to love as fully and deeply as you would like to.

7. Crank the tunes when you have to clean the house.

8. Look deeply into the eyes of the one you are falling for to get a glimpse of his or her soul.

9. Spend a chunk of time every year with people who are much less fortunate than you are. It will fill your heart with gratitude.

10. Never lie about anything really important. The first lie will cause you to have to lie again and again to cover up the truth. And each time you’ll chip away an important piece of yourself.

11. Find work that makes you happy. If you can change the world in the process all the better.

12. If you get the chance to travel across the country or across the globe, take it. You will learn way more from people who are different from you than the ones who are the same.

13. Doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. But you are going to make mistakes. Tons of them. The real question is what you will learn from them.

14. Don’t be in any rush to get married. Divorce really sucks. A good marriage can start when you’re 21 or 61.

15. There’s nothing wrong with a Cuban cigar once in a while.

16. Money and power look good, but they won’t fill your being with joy the way your family will.

17. If you like guys, I will fight for your ability to have equal rights in every way.

18. Find a way to move your body that gives you pleasure. You don’t have to be an athlete to be a man, but your body is a temple and you need to care for it, enjoy it, and use it to express yourself.

19. Drinking can be fun in moderation. Just make sure to ask for help if you find yourself blacking out or doing things you regret.

20. Radical honesty will get you very far in this world. Most people don’t have the guts to speak their mind, regardless of the consequences.

21. Always give your spouse birthday presents in bed.

22. Find a spirituality that you can wear like a loose coat that keeps you warm no matter the weather. God should provide you comfort not make you feel ashamed of yourself.

23. Sex is great but holding your spouse in the middle of the night is one of the best feelings any guy can have.

24. Live passionately. Dream big. Don’t back down.

25. Always remember I love you, no matter what happens. You cannot lose me. I will always be there.

Good advice for the most part

6 Things I Wish I Had Never Told My Children – Huff Post

1. You don’t owe anyone anything.
You have one major responsibility: to be part of the positive change in this world. If you are not part of it, you are opposing it. You owe everyone (including yourself) a measure of kindness, mercy, patience, respect and empathy. Everyone is fighting some sort of battle. Everyone has a chapter in their lives that they do not want to read aloud. You might have stepped right into the middle of someone’s toughest battle, so while they are struggling to keep it together, if nothing else, all you have to do is be kind. How hard is that?

2. Respect is earned, not given freely.
This is similar to the “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” argument, but more ridiculous. Should you wait for someone to earn your respect before you respect them? Should you assume no one respects you until you have clearly earned their respect? Can you get respect without giving it? Can you give respect and just automatically assume you’ll earn it? If you don’t earn someone’s respect, should you be disrespectful to them? You are responsible for the way you conduct yourself, regardless of whether anyone else is respectful. So please, be respectful.

3. Just be yourself, and people will know how talented/qualified/desirable you are!
Too many other logical statements make this one seem absurd: Step out of your comfort zone. Make your presence known. Know when to hold ’em and know when to fold ’em. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be “no.” Persistence, humility, and deliberate effort will help you shine and move toward the direction of becoming a productive human. Please, please do not just float around in this world and expect to get what you want by being your cute little self. Also, know that sometimes you will bust your ass and no one will notice but you. Hey, this leads us to the next one…

4. Hard work pays off.
Except when it doesn’t. Occasionally, the hardest work and the most diligent efforts yield the most dreaded result: nothing. Life is unfair sometimes. You have to work hard anyway, because no work ALWAYS yields nothing.

5. You have to pursue your dream career in order to be happy in life.
Find 15 people and ask them if they have their dream job. Then, ask them if they are happy with their lives. The answers will surprise you. Not everyone needs a wonderful, rewarding career in order to be happy in life. Some people are working in their field of choice, doing exactly what they always wanted to do, and they’re miserable. Some people merely have “a job” and still live rewarding, spectacular lives. And some love their career, but long for more in their personal lives. Do pursue your dreams, but make sustainability a priority. Working hard to support yourself can be more rewarding than being 30 years old and waiting for the perfect career while still living in your childhood bedroom. The way to prevent that from becoming your future is to make sure you are able to earn a living even if you don’t ever land your dream job.

6. You are special!
You are no better, no worse, no greater, and no less than anyone else in this world. Every person you know is better than you at something. Every person you know struggles with something that is very easy for you. Use your strengths to make this world a better, more enjoyable place (because when it’s better for others, it’s better for you, too). Ask for and accept help when you need it. Never behave as though any person, task, or circumstance is above you or beneath you.