I love Starbucks hot chocolate!

This was news to me. I was like “When have you been to Starbucks??” Apparently my 7 year old is a fan and has been a few times with his aunt. We shared a birthday cake pop. I had to post this photo of my son because I love his haircut and he is getting so big and is not my little baby anymore. 🙁


Farewell, Goblin King

David Bowie has died of liver cancer. So many people seem to be taking this extra hard, and I’m one of them. It’s so weird. A lot of my friends feel the way I do, they can’t explain why we are so sad, especially those of us who wouldn’t call ourselves huge fans. I’d say I’m more of a David Bowie admirer than anything. I’ve been thinking about it since early this morning when I found out he passed. A friend of mine (in regards to Lemmy Kilmister’s death) said that the “trinity” was complete: Scott Weiland, Lemmy, and now Bowie. I didn’t know what she was talking about, and that’s how I got the news.

When musicians die, I think we feel it so deeply because these “relationships” we create with them are perfect, and they have said things we could never figure out how to say on our own. I think the only conclusion I can come up with that best explains why this musician’s death has hit me the way it has, is that his music and image without a doubt remind me of my childhood. I can’t think of a single negative thing associated with him and his music. And maybe that’s comforting? He was a flashy glittery spaceman which appealed to me. I remember watching his videos on MTV in the 80’s like Modern Love and Let’s Dance, (wasn’t he on every single awesome 80’s movie soundtrack as well??). I remember movies like Labyrinth and The Hunger, which I knew of, but didn’t see until I was a twenty-something. Space Oddity & Under Pressure are two of the many special songs in this world that can bring me to tears.

I also associate David Bowie (and Queen) with my first and only pregnancy. In my first trimester, I had severe morning/all-day sickness and lost 13 lbs, this lasted well into my second trimester. I now suspect I could have had undiagnosed hyperemesis gravidarum, but that’s another blog topic for a later date. I’d get in bed to rest and try to cool down (god damn that Texas heat) and I’d snack on pretzel sticks and lemonade while listening to my iPod in bed, trying unsuccessfully to cope with the nausea and vomiting. I’m not sure why I gravitated toward Bowie then. It just sounded good and soothed me.

Bowie/Bowie-related songs I had on my iPod at the time:

  1. Under Pressure
  2. Lady Grinning Soul (original and a violin cover version by Lucia Micarelli)
  3. The Heart’s Filthy Lesson
  4. Bring Me The Disco King (Danny Lohner remix w/Maynard James Keenan)
  5. Something In The Air
  6. China Girl
  7. Rebel Rebel

My son was lucky enough to have a listen as well since I’d occasionally put my headphones on my belly and wait for the swishes and swirls as he started to spin around in response to the music. And that is why to this day I still get super emotional whenever I hear Under Pressure. It’s going to be a while before I can listen to it without getting extra sad because now it’s a heavy dose of raw emotion and a double loss of two brilliant souls.

I’ve felt melancholy all day. It’s such a shame.
I’m just glad he’s not suffering anymore.

Time May Change Me by Helen Green

I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring.

25 Things I’d Like My Sons to Know

Taken from: The Good Men Project

1. It’s harder to take a punch than to throw one.

2. Find the people who make you laugh and follow them around like a golden retriever. Laughing is like a vitamin. You can never get enough of it.

3. A guy who hugs a lot is comfortable in his own skin.

4. Read poetry.

5. There’s nothing wrong with looking at porn, but having sex with someone you care about is a thousand times more fun.

6. When you feel like crying, for joy or out of pain, let ‘er rip. If you don’t those tears out, they will calcify in your chest and make it harder to love as fully and deeply as you would like to.

7. Crank the tunes when you have to clean the house.

8. Look deeply into the eyes of the one you are falling for to get a glimpse of his or her soul.

9. Spend a chunk of time every year with people who are much less fortunate than you are. It will fill your heart with gratitude.

10. Never lie about anything really important. The first lie will cause you to have to lie again and again to cover up the truth. And each time you’ll chip away an important piece of yourself.

11. Find work that makes you happy. If you can change the world in the process all the better.

12. If you get the chance to travel across the country or across the globe, take it. You will learn way more from people who are different from you than the ones who are the same.

13. Doing nothing is better than doing the wrong thing. But you are going to make mistakes. Tons of them. The real question is what you will learn from them.

14. Don’t be in any rush to get married. Divorce really sucks. A good marriage can start when you’re 21 or 61.

15. There’s nothing wrong with a Cuban cigar once in a while.

16. Money and power look good, but they won’t fill your being with joy the way your family will.

17. If you like guys, I will fight for your ability to have equal rights in every way.

18. Find a way to move your body that gives you pleasure. You don’t have to be an athlete to be a man, but your body is a temple and you need to care for it, enjoy it, and use it to express yourself.

19. Drinking can be fun in moderation. Just make sure to ask for help if you find yourself blacking out or doing things you regret.

20. Radical honesty will get you very far in this world. Most people don’t have the guts to speak their mind, regardless of the consequences.

21. Always give your spouse birthday presents in bed.

22. Find a spirituality that you can wear like a loose coat that keeps you warm no matter the weather. God should provide you comfort not make you feel ashamed of yourself.

23. Sex is great but holding your spouse in the middle of the night is one of the best feelings any guy can have.

24. Live passionately. Dream big. Don’t back down.

25. Always remember I love you, no matter what happens. You cannot lose me. I will always be there.